There is a list somewhere of the different situations that stress marriages most. I’m not sure travel makes the list, but maybe it should.

Here’s how it usually plays out in my world:

Husband is driving. I peer over and look at the speed and realize he’s going fast enough to get a ticket. Me: “Um, you really should slow down.”

Traffic is moving slowly in the passing lane, so he’s riding someone’s bumper. Me: “If that was me in front of us, I’d be so mad that you were so close to me.” Or “You know, if you needed to stop you wouldn’t have time.”

Me jerking awake from a half sleep and noticing a car somewhere in the distance: *grabs door handle and slams the imaginary brake*.

Husband has been driving all day. I’m convinced he’s too tired. Me: “Are you tired? Are you okay? WHY DID YOU YAWN??!!”

Enter crochet.

Husband: Did you see that?

Me: What?

Husband: The guy in front of me almost wrecked.

Me: No, sorry. I’m crocheting.
Husband: Whoops! I didn’t realize how fast I was going, I should probably slow down.

Me: Oh, really. I didn’t notice. I was crocheting.
Husband has been driving all day: Shouldn’t you talk to me to keep me awake?

Me: Sorry, I can’t. I’m counting.
And there you have it. Crochet = marriage counseling. If I crochet, I don’t nag. If I don’t nag, there’s no problem.

Next up, world peace.